Dear Candy,

I’m just feckin’ cheesed off to say the least because some little bugger keeps pinching my nuts. He comes in the middle of the night and pinches them. It makes me very angry because I love my nuts and I don’t have that many. I tried to remove them from the area but he always finds them. I get such enjoyment from my nuts and the last thing I want is someone pinching them. I grew them all by myself. What should I do about it? Feckin’ squirrels!

Candy: hahahahaha! Oh my gawd! I thought you were talking about something completely different and I was starting to get worried when you said you removed them from the area. I’m sorry to hear about your nuts. It sounds like it’s not really a squirrel but some kind of ancient spirit pretending to be a crafty squirrel. My uncle used to have the same problem and he said the best way to deal with it is to put the spirit squirrel on a mini rocket and send it into the air.  But don’t worry, you give it a mini squirrel parachute too so it can land safely, just far away from you. Problem solved. Or you could just share your nuts, I mean those little critters are cute!

Screen Shot 2015-07-16 at 03.47.54

Straight talking from the trailor trash mouth of Southern Belle, Candy and the more refined Cara from Connemara. SUBSCRIBE! I decided that as Im from Connemara I should make a song about it well actually I was singing California gurls for some unknown reason to me and changed the words and thought to myself…..Hell yeah! Let’s do it! So I got Paddy and Mary to sing it they did a great job didn’t they? But I had no idea it would take so long to get the video up sorry for the delay but a lot of hours had to go into making this. I really hope it was worth the wait and even if your not from Galway Or Ireland or this planet you can enjoy it!

Cara: For flip sake do not ever strap a squirrel to a rocket! This is not an ancient spirit squirrel it is just a normal squirrel! You need to look around your house and try and find a hole or space where he’s getting in and block it. You should also keep doors and windows shut and eventually if he is not getting any foor he will go somewhere else but if your trees are attracting him you may need to hire a professional to catch and release him safely without harming him or blasting him into space. That OR share your nuts…..because I agree squirrels are soooo cute!!

Posted by Darius Ivan

Journalist, Photographer and Designer VR360 content creator

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